I wasn’t from a well-to-do family. All through my growing up years, I was constantly reminded that we couldn’t afford this, we better make do without that, we do not need to spend such money, it is hard to come by. It was a way of life, that after coming out to work for many years, I’ve left far behind. I cannot imagine myself now scrimping and saving like I did years before, or perhaps, I do not want to imagine myself that.

But don’t get me wrong. This is not to begrudge my poverty-stricken childhood. In actual fact, I didn’t think myself or my family under-privileged then. Because my friends, my neighbors, everyone around me were just like me. None of my friends went for any ballet lessons, enrichment classes, and I’ve never ever had tuition my entire school life. (For the information of non-Singaporean readers out there, tuition is part and parcel of a child’s school “curriculum” now because marks is everything and parents will do anything to make sure their child gets the best marks, even if it means nearly killing the child.)

Actually, I was slightly more privileged than some other friends because I got to learn the piano. (And partly it was because of a lucky coincidence that the community centre near my house offered lessons at $25 per month, for many many years; I learnt there until I completed my grade 6. Can you believe it, only about $6 per lesson!)

By the time I was in Secondary 4, my weekly allowance was $10. WOW! That $10 included all my transport costs, and whatever lunch I might need to buy if I had to stay back in school for the afternoon. But amazingly, I managed, and could even afford new music books and even some cassette tapes once in a while. (I’m not that old to be in the pure cassette tape era - there were CDs! but cassette tapes were selling much cheaper than CDs so I bought cassette tapes, and I still have my collection of cassette tapes now.)

Oh, but of course I supplemented my income by working in the school holidays. Going overseas for a holiday with the family? Neither me nor my friends ever heard about such a thing except in the TV serials. Extra school activities in the school holidays? Somehow there didn’t seem to be as much activities then as there are now. We could work full-time in the school holidays. And what jobs didn’t my friends and I do? We took whatever work we could find, whoever would employ us. It was a joy when we turned 15 because then we could be more “rightfully” employed. I think there still is a law which prevents people from employing kids younger than 15 if I’m not wrong. We could only distribute flyers on the streets or in letter boxes or work in macdonalds before we were 15. But after that, the range of jobs widened.

Fast forward to my junior college days, I started giving tuition. Yes, tuition was becoming more and more important. An extra $200 per month made me feel wonderfully rich! But by then, I paid for my own piano lessons. And I had already finished grade 8 (and was no longer learning in the community centre) which means my piano fees were a whooping $180 per month. Ok, $20 left for my “other expenses”. But my friends and I continued to work in the school holidays and I believed I was able to afford certain luxuries once in a while, although of course there were no iPhones or iPads or high tech stuff to tempt me then.

After A-levels, we had half a year before going into university. What else would we do but FIND WORK! And this was the first real longer-term full-time work we did and let me tell you, I did feel wonderfully rich then! I could finally afford erhu lessons, and even buy a violin of my own, albeit a cheap one.

And in between the semesters during our university days, what else did we do but, WORK! Overseas exchange, going on holidays with friends, that was all a dream. But I guess it will matter much more now than last time because everyone seems to be doing it now. Then, going overseas was something rare. But now I think not going is the rare thing.

I remember we had one occasion during our secondary school days when there was an overseas trip. I went home and asked for permission to go. Of course I was blasted about that for a very very very very long time. “What a waste of money, you think money grows on trees? You won’t get your O-levels going there. I bet you all are going there just to have fun….and so on and so on.” I never ever bothered to ask again if I might go on any overseas trip because I couldn’t afford anyway.

And after I graduated from university, guess what my friends and I did? Go on a graduation trip? Yes, in my dreams. My friends and I went to look for temporary work. So that we could earn some money before we each found our respective long-term employment.

Now as I look around, besides the few friends who have been with me through my growing-up years, I don’t think anyone has those same experiences we had. Many friends I know who are in the same age group as I am, never had to work during their school holidays. I think it is also safe to bet that no one can imagine living on a $10 weekly allowance which includes transport, meals and buying school stuff.

I look at all my students, their parents send them for lessons and it’s not just erhu lessons. They have all sorts of other enrichment classes and activities, and each school holiday, they go overseas for a getaway.

Schools, even as young as primary schools, have overseas trips and huge groups of students get to go and see and experience another country, another culture, other people. What a wealth of experiences these young people are going to accumulate!

My students, as young as 7 or 8 get to have iPhones, their own computer, iPads, gameboys, xboxes, what have you, while I got my first computer at the ripe old age of 19, thank you very much. Just recently I overheard my 14 year-old student talk about html coding which I was learning about only at the ripe old age of 20, after plugging in to the internet for a year since I got my computer at 19.

My primary school students are talking about what apps they can download in their iPhones while yours truly got her first iPhone at the ripe old age of….heheh…I shall not reveal.

I’m wondering, if it is really a different era I grew up in, or was it a different strata of society I grew up in. Somehow, I found the people around me, all my friends, were in similar circumstances as me. But now, besides those few very good friends I still keep in touch with, other friends whom I get to know after my growing-up years, do seem to have a very different life when they were growing up. And needless to say, my students from the younger generation are a in a way different league.

Probably, no, most likely, I grew up amongst the less-privileged, and it seemed just normal because people around me are in just the same circumstances as me. As my life changed, I gradually moved away from the society I grew up in, not because of anything else but simply because our lives do not cross. I work, and the people I meet are my colleagues who do the same things as me, and off work, I meet up with the few good friends I have who are also living a very different life from when we were all growing up. I get to see students who are mostly from the more fortunate walks of life because after all, their families can afford to send them for costly music lessons.

But this does not make the group of less-privileged people disappear. They are still there - there is a group of people who are still trying hard to make ends meet. There is perhaps a little girl out there who has to work through her school holidays to afford things that she wants. There are probably many young people out there who wishes to learn a musical instrument but they know their family can never spare the money to send them for lessons.

And these are the group of people I want to remember I want to work for. I want to teach in the Chinese Orchestras in schools because that might be the only chance these young people get to learn an instrument. I want to give these young people a chance to learn and appreciate and enjoy music and not for schools to simply want results. To squeeze the students to make them get as many gold awards as possible but in the end to walk away from it only remembering a bitter aftertaste of learning music. I hope none of my students will remember only that.